Why parenting used to be easier

Have you wondered how it was possible for your Mum to have raised 5 children, or your Aunt to have raised 11 children; when you seem to be struggling with just your one or two measly kids? Well, lately I have been wondering the same thing, and I have been querying if parenting used to be easier before.

Of course, they struggled, but our aunts/parents struggle was different. Their worries were much simpler and less complicated than our worries which I believe are more mentally taxing. I might be romantizing the past, but it really does seem like parenting used to be easier.

Here’s my reasons why parenting used to be easier:

1. We feel like we are chasing perfection

The introduction of social media has changed the way we view ourselves and what is expected of us. However, there have been several studies to prove the more we use social media the more likely we are to experience depression and loneliness. It is a fact that we subconciously absorb the images we see on the screen and it changes our perception of ourselves. We unknowingly compare ourselves to the filtered perfect model-like Mums on Instagram: those who flaunt their size 8 figure a month after giving birth, or feature their daily walks with their happy children on beautiful sandy beaches, or exhibit their expensive organic free range meals. Unexpectedly, we feel huge pressure to also become the perfect parent, and to provide the perfect upbringing for our children.

However, our mums and aunts could only compare themselves to their neighbours or their friends. There wasn’t access to 24 hours in-your-face pressure to be filtered, glossy and perfect.

In addition, nowadays the surveillance and judgement we face is extreme compared to previous generations. Leaving your child to play in your own garden alone could warrant your neighbour to call the police on you. Discipling your child in public could result in you being an international Facebook embarrassment by an amused passerby desperate to gain more content for their Facebook page.

The pressure to be perfect is burdensome. We used to just be satisfied with doing our best.

2. There are too many opinions and options

Have you ever wandered in to the bread aisle of your local supermarket and just felt inundated with the sheer amount of different breads you could purchase. Do you buy brown or white? How about sourdough or maybe with seeds or multigrain? What about loaves or rolls or buns? A fantastic book called the Paradox of Choice highlights the ridiculous amount of decisions we are forced to make daily causing mental exhaustion.

When you are a new parent, we often need guidance and support helping us navigate through the confusing world of babies temperments and tantrums. So where do we find our answers? We jump on the internet! Unfortunately, the internet bombards us with so many opinions it leaves us confused – completely zapping us of our mental energy. There are neverending answers on: how to parent effectively, when a baby should sleep through the night or if co-sleeping is bad. The amount of contradictory advice overwhelms you from the minute you take a pregnancy test. There was a simpler time when all we did was do what our own mothers did. But now we obsess and get dragged around by the million different opinions screamed at us, so we are exhausted questioning every single small decision.

I remember pouring over baby books and websites with my first child excitedly, but then feeling dejected and anxious when my baby did not reach the textbook accomplishments. I thought there was something wrong with me, or my baby! It was only when I learnt to ignore everyone’s opinion did I realise that my baby was fine just the way she was. That was when I could truly enjoy parenting.

3. Technology has not made our lives easier

Our lives were supposed to be simplified with the invention of technology. It certainly has in some ways, but it also has made our lives harder in other ways. Technology has made completing our household chores faster, and we can now communicate with anyone we want anywhere in the world immeadiately. However, for our children, the technology they have inherited and which grows dimensionally in every way raises huge question marks. Our children are part of a new unexplored generation of tech obssessed kids experimented and exposed to unnecessary images and content. A number of studies and articles have already linked health risks to children who spend vast amounts of time glued to technology.

We now need to worry about our childen being exposed to porn and violent content. We also need to consider the risks of sexting, cyber bullying and online grooming. Frankly, I am scared how our children will turn out.

In addition, am I the only one to hate replying to the incessent amount of messages and mail flung at us from the million different platforms and apps? I have Whatsapp, We chat, Facebook, instagram, Twitter, 2 personal email accounts and SMS . Arranging play dates, responding to teacher’s messages and keeping track of all of my child’s clubs and schedule is overwhelming. Technology seems to be making our lives more complicated rather than helping us streamline and simplify our lives.

4. Keeping up with the Toys

Our kids appetite for toys is extraordinary. Us mere mortals can not compete with giant advertising moguls pushing their latest Ipad , Playstation, Nintendo and smartphones at us. Our children fall into a horrible trap of not keeping up with the Jones, but keeping up with the toys.

I remember when I was given a skipping rope for Christmas, and I thought that was cool. Gone are those simple days.

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